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Chaos Origin Chapter 7

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Agreement & Promise

Luna buried her head in her front legs. She tried to pull herself together, but could not stop crying and whimpering from the fear and sadness that her nightmare had left in her.

Regardless, she tried to reassure herself with weak encouragement. "Do not fall apart with this... It... It ist not anything that We cannot handle... It wast just a dream... A nightmare...”

She looked down as she pushed herself up. “It felt like a... a very vivid dream..." She looked up at the her reflection in the window and shivered. "A real dream..."

After jumping in fright when the books on her table felt, she whimpered again and touched her head with her hoof. “Calm down, Princess Luna... Thou art letting thy nerves get the best of thee... We must remain calm, We cannot lose our head to this...” But what if We already lost it...?

She looked aside when the doors of the library were open, and was genuinely glad when she saw Celestia enter, even if she was followed by Wilder.

"Luna! What happened?! Do not say it was ‘nothing’, we--”

Luna smiled slowly as she stared at Celestia. "Sister..."

Celestia quickly grabbed her, making her grunt a bit as she checked the filly’s body top to bottom. "Are you alright? Luna, be honest with me, tell me if something happened to you.”

“Sister--”

Celestia touched Luna’s forehead and looked at her worriedly. “We heard you screaming. Both of us did. Did something frighten you again?"

"We... We art fine, Sister.” Luna pulled away from her and composed herself. “We just... We were practicing a spell, but it did not work. It startled us, that ist all."

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure, Luna?"

"Yes." Luna nodded her head as Celestia continued to observe her. "We apologize if We worried thee, We did not mean to make such a fuss. The spell got out of control all of a sudden, We thought something bad might happen and got a little scared."

Wilder put his claw and paw at his sides, then looked at Luna questioningly as he floated in the air. "And just what spell was it? No 'dark magic', we hope, little Luna." He ruffled her mane and nearly dropped her tiara as he did.

She gave him an irritated look, already quite annoyed by his mocking tone. She moved away and straightened her mane and tiara. "No. It wast something else. We would never dare cast dark magic, it ist against the rules of our kingdom."

Wilder snickered at her indignant tone. “Oh, you’re adorable.”

Celestia stepped closer to her as she started to argue with Wilder. "Luna... If there is something that you need to talk about... You can tell me. You know that, right?"

Luna stared at her for a few seconds, then looked down. Shame began to eat up at her, but she forced herself to answer calmly nonetheless. "Yes, Sister. Thank thee."

"Perhaps some bad vibe that the guest brought along rubbed off on you." Wilder came out of the shadows again and on the air in a thinking pose. “Wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

"Ugh...” Her head snapped up at him with an irritated glare. “What dost thou meanest?! We really art not in the mood for those ridiculous ideas of thine."

“Heh, heh! It was only a suggestion, oh mighty, fearsome, moody ruler.”

That mocking thing, how dares he tease us like that...?! He always managed to unnerve her, one way or another. How could Celestia stand him for more than five minutes?

“Well, do explain what thou meanest with that at once!”

Wilder shrugged. "Well, I'm no evil king, but if I was, I'm pretty sure my darkness would spread through my subjects.”

Celestia glanced at the ceiling as she thought. “That might be a plausible idea...”

No, it might not. This darkness... Luna looked away from them as she continued walking. This darkness wast inside us before that pegasus arrived. In fact... We had already met Sombra before. But of course, We cannot tell that to thee, sister...

She gasped as Wilder appeared before her. “What--”

“Feel like sharing something, little Luna?”

Luna glared back at Celestia. “Sister! Maketh him stop!”

Wilder laughed, then floated away from Luna. “Hey, I’ve got a better idea. Let's go visit our new friend and see if it affects Luna, to test my theory.”

"We art fine. There ist no need to do such--"

Celestia walked between the two of them as they headed out of the library. "Well, we do need to see how he is doing, Luna.”

“Exactly!”

She gave Wilder a cautioning look, then turned back to her little sister to smile reassuringly at her. “It cannot hurt to give his theory a try.”

“Thou sidest with him?”

“Easy, Luna. I am not saying it is either right or wrong. But, it looks like we will stay up for quite a bit longer tonight, right? Might as well do something something productive like check on our guest. Make sure he is not in need of anything, right? We promised we would take care of him...”

"Fine. If thou insistest..."

Celestia nudged Luna playfully to try to get her to smile. She then turned to look at Wilder, who was already goofing off with some of their maids. "I suppose you are coming along, Wilder?"

Luna blinked and looked at Celestia when she walked past. "Oh.” She raised an eyebrow. “He has a name now?" Why art We not surprised...

Celestia chuckled. "But of course, he must. Otherwise, how are we to refer to him? I think for now the name does just fine for him, unless anypony else can think of something better."

Luna looked at ‘Wilder’ and frowned when he giggled at a maid’s uncomfort. She spoke quietly when he floated back to her and Celestia. "Some strange way thou hast to get into our civilization..." Yes, forget formal meetings, reverencial balls, regal introductions, political agreements... Just appear out of nowhere and make a mockery out of the dignified work of the two princesses, that wilt definitely work.

She grimaced just slightly when she heard Wilder chuckle and stare at himself as he spoke.

“Well, I’m strange, so it works perfectly, doesn’t it?” He grinned at Celestia, who giggled a bit as Luna rolled her eyes and groaned.

He teleported beneath Luna's feet and took the form of the cloth in the carpet. He startled her when she realized that he was beneath her. "Oh, come now, Luna. Do you still not trust me? Personally, I think your sister was very generous by giving me a name, don’t you agree? It’s awesome, too. Fits me so well!"

Luna raised an eyebrow and stepped away from the carpet. She scooted back as she watched him sit up from it. "Well... Yes, We suppose she was very kind, to give thee a name... Otherwise We would not know what to call to thee, if We were ever to speak to thee from necessity.”

“See? It’s a winning argument!”

Argument for what...? She lowered her head as she groaned again. “We have no objection, it ist just...” She sighed.

He leaned closer to her and nudged her eagerly. “Go on, say it. You know you want to~”

Luna moved away from him as Celestia held in her laughter again. “Thou art rather strange. Unusual to this land... Dost thou even want to fit in here? It sure dost not appear so. There are guidelines and expectations of behavior that must be followed in this kingdom, and thou dost not meet them. How dost thou expect to be accepted here if thou cannot abide by the rules?"

Celestia looked at her questioningly. "You mean as in, have him live here, Luna?"

The young filly spoke in her usual highly proper and serious manner. "That ist precisely what We mean. We art a forming kingdom, sister. That said, we need to make certain who wilt be our subject and citizen and who wilt be rogues or simple visitors.”

Celestia sighed, and smiled a little at her little sister’s seriousness. "Well, I think Wilder will stay here for a while, as he does not remember whence he comes from.”

Luna stopped and looked at her curiously. “He really dost not?”

Wilder gave her a look. “What, you think I’m joking? That wouldn’t be a very tasteful joke, would it?” He shrugged as he kept a carefree expression, even when he saw Luna’s confused and questioning look. “I don’t remember and that’s that. Don’t make such a big deal of it.”

Celestia patted his shoulder as he floated close by. “It is alright, he can get to that information when he feels ready or able to do so. All in time and whenever he is ready. In the meantime, Wilder, as you have nowhere else to stay, this land would be happy to have you. That means you would have an official home here... Because, I do not believe you possess one as of yet. Right?"

"I believe I don't." He teleported before them. "But I’d be more than willing to stay here, if you’d allow me the privilege.” He bowed before them and smirked slightly.

Celestia smiled at his attempts at formality, then looked at Luna. When she saw no objections in her eyes, she turned back to look at Wilder and nodded as Luna did.

“Of course, I would be glad to let you stay. You can even stay here at the palace! It would be a pleasure and an honor for us to have you here.”

“We have no objection--wait a minute, sister, the palace?! But, but he has not even gone--We mean--too soon for that, he--he ist not--”

Celestia patted her shoulder to calm her down. “Heh. Now, now, Luna, we do not want to be rude to our guest and new friend, do we? Wilder has been friendly and nice to us, we should show him the same courtesy and kindness. I know you can do that, right? You always have been very kind, too.”

Luna gave her a look as Celestia looked at her with a pleading smile. “Sister, thou wilt not educate us in manners...” She pointed at Wilder with her hoof. “He has brought nothing but trouble to us, to everypony in the kingdom! Should we really give him the privilege and honor of staying at the palace itself?”

“I do not see why not. He deserves it. And you heard him, he has nowhere else to stay.”

“Well, that has many other solutions, sister. We can assign him a home.”

“We do not need to trouble our subjects, the palace is big enough for us three!” Celestia laughed as Luna frowned a bit. “Do excuse her, Wilder. She is a little shy and uncomfortable about newcomers.”

“Ah, I’d already figured THAT out. Don’t worry, I find it simply delightful!” He snickered as Luna glared at him. “Ohhh, there’s that look again!”

He then sighed and floated in the air as he led the princesses forward. “But first, I do believe we’ve got stuff to discuss with our 'guest'."

Celestia nodded as they entered the infirmary. "Yes, yes, Wilder, we are on our way.” She turned to the doctor and spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb other patients. "The pegasus that we brought earlier... How is he doing, doctor?"

The doctor bowed briefly before he took a look at his notes. "He still rests, Thy Highness. He seemed very agitated and upset, we had to work a lot to get him to calm down...”

Luna frowned as Celestia seemed a bit worried as well. She looked up at Celestia as she spoke.

“I see... But, nothing serious...?”

“Oh, no, Princess Celestia, of course not. Other than just exhaustion, the young colt should be fine.”

Celestia sighed with relief and nodded at the doctor as she excused him. "Thank you."

Luna walked to the room where their guest rested. She looked through the window at the nervous pegasus.

Wilder glanced at Luna as he floated closer to her. "Feel anything strange, Luna?"

She gave him a deadpan look and shook her head. "No. We art not.” She smirked a little and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “How about thyself?"

Celestia shook her head and she walked past them. "Stop studying and teasing one another. This is not a psychology class.” She walked into the pegasus' room.

The pegasus gasped and jumped a bit when he saw the door open. He  back slightly, but relaxed once he realized it was the familiar Princess Celestia, her sister, and her friend. “Thy Highness...”

Celestia smiled kindly at him as they approached gently. "It is okay. I am glad you are doing better now. Have you eaten something, my friend?"

He looked down and fidgeted with his hooves. "A... A bit. I am not very hungry."

"Please eat as much as you can so that you regain your strength." Celestia positioned herself before his bed as he looked at her again. "I do not mean to intrude in any way. You may talk about it whenever you are ready. We would like to know more about you, though. What is your name?"

“Do you have a thing for names, Celestia?”

“Well, Wilder, what do you suggest we use to address him, hm?”

Wilder looked up and folded his arms. “I don’t know. I’ve never had to address anyone before... That I remember. How about... ‘Candy Skin’? Seems about right.”

Celestia shook her head. “I prefer to address folks by their given names. Calling people ‘names’ based on their appearance is rude and improper.”

“Fine, fine, have it your ‘proper’ way. What’s your name, then, hm?” Wilder looked at the pegasus, who quickly looked down nervously.

“M-My name... It ist Red Feather. I... I just escaped from the Crystal Empire...” He sighed and looked aside as he shivered a bit. “But... I am afraid I have made it worse by running away..."

Luna frowned slightly. “Well, thou had to escape to warn others of thy situation. Otherwise no help would arrive to thee.”

Red Feather quickly looked at the princesses. “Thy Highnesses... Thou... Thou MUST help everypony back there. Th-They art enslaved and tormented by King Sombra. I wast the only one that managed to escape, and I made it worse for all of them...”

He looked down as he started to shake with fear and despair. “I cannot stand the idea of the others being trapped in there, suffering because of me, wh-while I am free..."

Celestia nodded and rested a hoof on his shoulder. "Do not worry, our friend. We will not let them suffer much longer.”

Luna stepped closer to the pegasus. “Indeed. Thy kingdom wilt be rescued, Red Feather, for we shalt stop King Sombra, no matter what we must do. It ist our duty to bring justice and peace to any land that we can assist, we shalt not let it be ruined any further.”

“We’ll save the beautiful Crystal Empire.” Celestia looked up at Wilder and smiled a bit. “With a bit of good help, I am sure.”

Wilder teleported above Red Feather, seeming as though he had not heard the sisters’ promises. "So tell me, glittering pegasus... What do I have to do to look like that?" He held a giant magnifying glass above him to observe his coat better.

Celestia sighed, holding a hoof to her face as Red Feather cringed away from the object that levitated over him. "Wilder, now is not the time..."

Luna rolled her eyes again. Some help he wilt provide, sister.

Red Feather shifted in his bed. He felt uncomfortable again as he tried to answer Wilder’s question. "Um... We... We were all born like this...” He lifted his hoof to look at his dark red shimmering coat. “...Our coats were actually shinier than this, really...”

He looked down as his ears lowered when he spoke. “They dulled and turned like this when King Sombra's evil spread out through our kingdom...”

Wilder sighed. “Pfft. So it all has to do with happiness and stuff. How mushy and boring.”

Red Feather shivered and stared aside, but did not gaze at anything in particular. “We art not happy anymore... We do not know how to even be happy now." He sighed sadly and lowered his wings as he stared at the tray of hardly-touched food that laid on top of the bedside table.

Celestia patted his back and smiled to comfort him. "We will try our best to help you, Red Feather. Please have faith in us. We will not fail you and your ponyfolk."

Luna nodded in agreement, her face determined as she looked at Red Feather.

Red Feather felt grateful and perhaps a bit hopeful that time. "Thank thee, Princess Celestia... Princess Luna... We wilt appreciate thy help..."

Celestia looked at Wilder again as Red Feather fidgeted with his blankets. "Are you going to help, too?"

"Well, this Sombra guy sounds like he might have something to do with my past. So... Yes!" He patted the red pony too. “We’ll all help you.”

Celestia blinked as she watched Wilder. Why would he think something like that?

Red Feather looked up at Wilder. He felt grateful towards him as well, but was still weirded out by his strange appearance and behavior. "Um... Th-Thanks..."

Luna looked at Wilder with a raised eyebrow. "Why would King Sombra know anything about thee? Thou art hardly like him.”

Wilder pretended to blush and acted bashful as he spoke. “Aww, Luna, that’s touching! Please, you flatter me.” He smirked and patted Luna’s head with his tail. “You meant that as a compliment, right?”

Luna cleared her throat and stepped away from the mismatched creature’s tail. “W-Well... It ist just our opinion... We wonder, really...”

She shook her head and looked up at Wilder. “Honestly, why would he know anything that had to do with thee? Why him of all people?" She huffed a bit when Wilder only shrugged to her questions.

Celestia nodded as she watched Wilder float in circles. She could tell that he was already growing bored. "Yes, Luna is right. He only seems to know about evil, and you are anything but, my friend.”

"Well, I have a hunch that I might get a few answers from him if I ever meet him. So I'll tag along for the trip and have fun while I’m at it. I suppose this one will show the way?" He pointed to Red Feather.

Red Feather nodded a bit before he looked down at his bed again. “Y-Yes, I wilt gladly do so...”

Celestia put a hoof on her chin as she thought. "I knew of the kingdom, but I did not know it was real, so... I guess I have yet to learn of its location. So he will indeed come as a guide, but it will be once he is fully recovered.”

She stood up and walked away from the bed. “We will let you rest now, Red Feather. Thank you for trusting us.” She gave him another warm smile.

That time, Red Feather actually smiled back at her. It was just slight and small, but still a smile. "Again... Th-Thank thee, Princess Celestia. And, thanks to thee as well.” He looked at Luna and Wilder and bowed his head briefly. He also smiled at them.

Celestia walked towards the door and motioned at the others to follow her. "I am going to get a snack and then raise the sun. Morning time is approaching. Luna, would you like to eat with me?"

"Yes, We art rather hungry."

She glanced up at Wilder as he floated out of the infirmary. "I guess you still are not, Wilder? That is alright. If you want, you can look around the palace while we have our breakfast."

Wilder smirked and stretched. “Alright, I’ll do that, if you don’t mind. See ya!" After he bid them farewell, he headed to the rooftop of the palace and laid there.

Celestia looked up for a few seconds. "A strange one, is he not? He is rather amusing, though."

Luna nodded and sighed. "Strange indeed, sister... Hopefully he wilt adapt to the land well."

Celestia chuckled a bit. "Probably not, but I am sure he can keep his personality from harming anypony." She smiled a bit sheepishly as Luna gave her a look before she walked down the hall with her.

After discussing the benefits and risks of keeping Wilder as their guest and fellow kingdom citizen, the sisters headed to the dining hall to have a much needed breakfast and rest together.
Celestia, Luna, and Wilder (Discord) have promised Red Feather to fight for his kingdom and do their best to protect it from Sombra's rule. At the same time, Wilder seems to have begun to put serious thought to his mysterious origins, and he seems to believe that Sombra may lead to some answers, for some reason. Who knows if he's right...

There, the edit is done. Added more little exchanges between Wilder and the princesses, for my enjoyment. And a bit more expressive gestures for Red Feather. I find this guy very sweet, I need to develop on him more.

But alas... I feel the ending was weak once again...

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SERIES IN ORDER

1. Chaos Origin (first chapter): fav.me/d5u6phv
Comments8
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PumpkinQueen13's avatar
I honestly don't see how and why Sombra would have anything to do with Wilder's past; it would really surprise me if he actually had some significance and the answers that Wilder seeks.




Plot
:star::star:  My grading has changed since the last chapter I reviewed; 3 stars is the highest grade.
She gave Wilder a cautioning look...

Given that there are now two princesses in the same location as Wilder, you need to make sure you indicate which female it is.  Considering that Wilder was talking to Celestia at this point, "She" should be changed to Celestia.


Celestia stepped closer to her as she started to argue with Wilder.

Same as before except that the "she" in this case is Luna.


"I guess you still are not, Wilder?..."

Still not what?



Description
:star::star::star:



Grammar
She looked up at the her reflection in the window and shivered.

"the" should be removed.


After jumping in fright when the books on her table felt...

"fell"


She looked aside when the doors of the library were open...

"opened"


That mocking thing, how dares he tease us like that...?!

"dare"


"...Let's go visit our new friend and see if it affects Luna, to test my theory.

The comma should be removed.


"...Might as well do something something productive like check on our guest..."

One of the "somethings" should be removed.


"But of course, he must..."

The comma should be removed.


Luna looked at 'Wilder' and frowned when he giggled at a maid's uncomfort.

"discomfort"


Yes, forget formal meetings, reverencial balls, regal introductions, political agreements...

"referential"


"...Otherwise We would not know what to call to thee, if We were ever to speak to thee from necessity.

"to" should be removed.


"...That said, we need to make certain who wilt be our subject and citizen and who wilt be rogues or simple visitors.

"subjects" and "citizens"


"Well, I think Wilder will stay here for a while, as he does not remember whence he comes from."

"...from whence he came."


He back slightly, but relaxed once he realized it was the familiar Princess Celestia...

:bulletblack: "backed up"
:bulletblack: "the familiar" should be removed.



"Please eat as much as you can so that {you regain} your strength."

"can" should be placed between "you" and "regain"

Grammar Grade: :star::star: